When a new relationship begins, the goal of their early interactions is to get to know each other better. As they learn more about each other and share special moments, they grow as a couple. But what kind of conversations should you have? What questions will help you deepen and learn more about your partner?
The Cheat Sheet approached Justin Lavelle, director of communications for PeopleLooker, for tips on how to have deeper conversations with a new partner. Here are some of his best tips.
The advice of Justin Lavelle to have meaningful conversations with your partner.
It is important to engage in meaningful conversation. Some of the topics you can talk about are:
This can be the cause of many fights and frustrations if both have very different ideas about the extended family. It is also important that relationships begin to develop between your partner and your family. Otherwise, this is a fertile ground for arguments and hurt feelings.
Beyond the extended family, it is necessary to understand how each approach has major problems. This can include education, religion, politics and an overview of what is right and what is wrong. Your views do not need to be exactly aligned, but if they are not, it is important to know, so that you can take it into account as you move forward in the future problems of your life together.
You do not have to have identical interests, but it is essential to have some things you enjoy doing together. Otherwise, your free time is more likely to be spent doing different things. Having similar hobbies and interests makes it easier to plan things together.
One of the worst things in a relationship is when one person wants to have children and the other does not. Make sure this is discussed in detail before making a long-term commitment. If a person is faithful to their convictions, if the children are denied or if they are pressured into it, they can add stress and resentment to the relationship. It is also important to address the upbringing of children, not just have them. Couples should be on the same page when it comes to how to raise children.
Maybe you see yourself living in the city or living a minimalist lifestyle. Maybe your partner wants a sprawling backyard in the suburbs. Life in the city, the suburbs, the tiny house, minimalist, or whatever, they all have very different traits and feelings. For example, it will be almost impossible to create a city lifestyle in the suburbs or vice versa. This can be a great sacrifice for those who withdraw from their lifestyle. Having similar interests can reduce difficult feelings and resentment.
You need to be with someone who has similar interests and desires. Unless you are going to have an open relationship, you will be expected to meet all of your needs for a long, long time. Make sure you are on the same page.